Hello and goodbye

I thought I would give you a little update (if anyone is still reading this, that is) on where things are.

First off, I'm good. I'm really good. Actually better than I've been in a long time.

I've been working with my doctor to get to where I am now and in a nutshell, I was diagnosed with an OCD in regards to food and eating. After many talks, lots of thinking, I've come to realize that it makes sense. I am obsessed with food.

One of the treatments for this is to not put it on the forefront of my mind every day. I KNOW that journalling what I eat is good. I KNOW that having a blog talking about what I'm eating, how I'm trying to be healthy and exercise updates is good. BUT neither of these are helping me to stop obsessing about food.

So he's advised me, for a while, to stop writing, talking, thinking about it all. And it's been helping. I haven't missed blogging. I haven't missed the anxiety (for lack of a better word) of weighing in, admitting my mistakes, telling you all if I have gained or lost, been a good girl or a bad girl, I'm just going about my days and my obsession with food is definitely taking a backseat.

There are a lot of variables as to why this is - one being I'm back at work. Which has always helped because I always pack my lunch and never really buy food. I'm eating well, really well. But I'm allowing myself a treat here and there and I don't beat myself up over it. Eating one bad thing doesn't set me off and stop only when everything I'm craving has been eaten.

And can I tell you something? It's such a relief! To be making room in my head for more important things then my neuroses about food? I feel so great.

Anyways, I hope one day to be back to blogging. I am still reading all your blogs when I get a chance. I don't think I will come back here, I hope one day I will find what it is I really want to write about and if and when I do? I will come find you all and show you where I am.

Until then - be happy, be healthy and be good to yourself.

xoxoxo