Thursday, February 7, 2013

Consistency

If I were to be choosing a word for the upcoming year, it would be consistency.

At the beginning of the new year, my friend Chantal (who I'm lucky enough to see twice a week at bootcamp!) pointed me in the direction of the Go Kaleo website, after I was going on about this diet and the other, frusterated that I wasn't losing, talking about restricting types of foods, etc. etc. (sorry Chantal, I can be annoying sometimes).

I started reading it and I have to say, it's like this website was written for me.  Which, I completely understand it's not, but honestly it's EXACTLY what I needed to hear.  I've read so many of her posts, and I've re-read them and then gone back to read again.  This website is chalk full of AWESOME.  Seriously, she has gone through an amazing transformation and didn't do it by not eating carbs, or a low-fat diet, a 17 day diet, WW, Dukan, paleo... she did it by NOT starving herself, by eating and exercising.

This is written at the top of her website:

Kale + Paleo = Kaleo. It's a JOKE, yo. You are not your diet, and I am not mine. Don't starve yourself. Get some exercise. Skip the Kool-aid.


I am a total band wagon-er, constantly in search of the easiest way to lose weight.  A new diet book?  It's my answer to everything!  I think to myself - finally, this looks easy, I can do this, this is how I am going to lose weight.  You'll see a stack of books beside my bed of every diet that's come out in the past 5 years (ok, there's only 4 books, and I'm sure there are more, but you get the point).

I'm not a stupid person, I KNOW there is no magic pill, but I also want to lose weight so badly that I can't help but fall into the traps set out there.

One of the things that she talks about (or maybe it's a site I have found through her site?) is the labelling of good foods vs bad foods.  How this labelling is the worst thing possible for people with eating disorders (I have a self-diagnosed binge eating disorder). I know for myself,  I go on diets, restrict certain foods and as soon as I know I can't eat something I WANT IT RIGHT NOW.  I have said I'm a bit obsessive before, haven't I?  In my mind I'm either being bad, or I'm being good.  There was no in between.  Lately I've come to realize that life is the in between.  I would be "good" for a week, then something would come up and I'd eat ice cream (bad food).  Then my thought process went something like this: "oh my god I ate ice cream, my day is screwed, I may as well eat everything I've been wanting to because tomorrow I will have to start fresh".  The consumption of one "bad food" would send me into a tail spin and I'd eat and eat and eat.  A day would turn into a week, and I would continue to over eat and yes binge, until I made myself so sick that the only choice would be to start dieting again because I was so sick of eating bad.  And this would continue. Then the negative self-talk would start - I'm so fat, I can't lose weight, I'm not strong enough, I don't deserve it - and how can you be happy with those thoughts going on in your head?  You can't.

What a fun way to live, eh?

After reading this, thinking about it, realizing that I have to change the way I think - I've started adapting this way of thinking.  No longer were foods forbidden.  I stopped eating 1200 calories a day (it's now 1500 + I eat back any calories I burn from exercising).  If I want bread or pasta or rice, I eat it (it's not a huge staple in our diet though).  If I'm craving chocolate, I eat it.  The majority of my diet is vegetables, lean meats and dairy and eggs.  But I also eat avocados, bacon, fruits.  I do eat pasta and bread.  I eat it all.  I try to eat more vegetables, less chocolate.  But they are both an important part of my diet.  And the best part is, I've been teaching myself not to feel the guilt associated with eating chocolate.  Or ice cream.  I eat it, enjoy it and move on.  So far I haven't binged (38 days!).... the one word used to desribe my diet these days?

Consistent.

I am consistently choosing healthy foods.  I am consistently including small treats here and there.  I am consistently being good to myself.  I am consistently choosing to workout in the mornings instead of hitting the snooze button.  I am consistently happy, consistently feeling not guilty and consistently enjoying this new way of living.

I don't think it will be always be easy, I am sure I will struggle, but I can honestly say this is the best I have felt in a long time.  I hope this really does become my way of life.  It's a much better way of living.





7 people had this to say:

Chantal said...

Christie!!! You are not annoying at all. Seriously. I love that we see each other at boot camp and have become friends! Sweaty hugs for the win!!! Look at that photo. You are beautiful. Now go and change your blog profile pic. NOW. GO! :)

Kataroo said...

Consistently feeling good, consistently not feeling guilty...AMEN :) I really identified with this post, it mirrors much of what I am feeling myself. PS. Love your pic..you are beautiful :)

Ashley Boyd said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. Consistency, what a perfect mantra! The deprivation leads to binge or bingey type of behavior - consistency requires us to deal with things as they are with little drama. It's ironic how much scarier it is NOT to have taboo foods but it's sustainable in the long term and not filled with the self judgment this is the fuel for destructive behavior in the end. Good luck to you (and me!) in this path.

Erica said...

Hello. I got to your page from Go Kaleo's link, and I honestly can't believe what I'm reading. I could have written this entire entry myself. I flirted with "paleo" for years. And by "flirted with" I mean I would be ultra strict for awhile, sometimes for a period of months, and then that would eventually snap and I'd be bingeing on anything and everything unhealthy and processed. Also for months! In fact, all of 2012 was spent in one of the two phases, never ever in any kind of in between, healthy middleground. Go Kaleo's page has also been hugely important to me, and I have been making the same healthy decisions as you for 2013. It's amazing: When nothing is "evil" or "poison" (or any of those other eating-disordered words that paleo fanatics use), it COMPLETELY LOSES ALL MEANING. It's just food. It's a potato, it's a bean, it's a piece of toast...and I have those things sometimes. Sometimes, interdispersed here and there throughout my mostly meat and veggie diet, means that I don't binge on them, ever. Because they're not forbidden anymore, they have lost all power.

I relate to this so much. Thank you for posting.

Stephanie said...

I just want to say thank you and congratulations. I've lost 85 pounds on WW then had a baby. Lost 40 pounds again and then toyed with the last 10-20 pounds.

Lately, I've learned not one thing I eat will destroy my achievements but one bad thought can turns into ten and that can destroy my motivation and perseverance. I think my new diet will be consistency with less shame.

Christy said...

Chantal - I love having you as a sounding board at 5:30 am :)

Katie - you have been a huge source of inspiration along this journey. It's so refreshing to have people around me who don't try to starve themselves, and are rather very positive then negative. Thank you.

Ashley - love your reference to drama, I always avoid drama in so many areas of my life, this will help me think of food drama and avoid that as well.

Erica - you are right, without the labels, it loses all meaning! And then... the guilt associated is gone and without guilt, one can actually feel GOOD about themselves. A new concept to me that I'm loving.

Stephanie - 85 lbs, congrats! And now you are close to reaching that goal again - good luck to you, and yes, less shame is the way to go!

JavaChick said...

I think you are on the right track. When I was losing weight last winter, I was eating pretty much whatever I felt like (though limiting wheat & dairy for health reasons), but not overeating. I did not binge. I was in control, satisfied with what I was eating, and I felt pretty good. I wasn't actually trying to lose weight at the time, but the weight was coming off - slowly, but surely...That is where I want to be again, and that is where I want to stay. Unfortunately I let stress derail me last spring, but I am trying so hard to get back to that feel good place because I think that is the best path for me.