Consistency

If I were to be choosing a word for the upcoming year, it would be consistency.

At the beginning of the new year, my friend Chantal (who I'm lucky enough to see twice a week at bootcamp!) pointed me in the direction of the Go Kaleo website, after I was going on about this diet and the other, frusterated that I wasn't losing, talking about restricting types of foods, etc. etc. (sorry Chantal, I can be annoying sometimes).

I started reading it and I have to say, it's like this website was written for me.  Which, I completely understand it's not, but honestly it's EXACTLY what I needed to hear.  I've read so many of her posts, and I've re-read them and then gone back to read again.  This website is chalk full of AWESOME.  Seriously, she has gone through an amazing transformation and didn't do it by not eating carbs, or a low-fat diet, a 17 day diet, WW, Dukan, paleo... she did it by NOT starving herself, by eating and exercising.

This is written at the top of her website:

Kale + Paleo = Kaleo. It's a JOKE, yo. You are not your diet, and I am not mine. Don't starve yourself. Get some exercise. Skip the Kool-aid.


I am a total band wagon-er, constantly in search of the easiest way to lose weight.  A new diet book?  It's my answer to everything!  I think to myself - finally, this looks easy, I can do this, this is how I am going to lose weight.  You'll see a stack of books beside my bed of every diet that's come out in the past 5 years (ok, there's only 4 books, and I'm sure there are more, but you get the point).

I'm not a stupid person, I KNOW there is no magic pill, but I also want to lose weight so badly that I can't help but fall into the traps set out there.

One of the things that she talks about (or maybe it's a site I have found through her site?) is the labelling of good foods vs bad foods.  How this labelling is the worst thing possible for people with eating disorders (I have a self-diagnosed binge eating disorder). I know for myself,  I go on diets, restrict certain foods and as soon as I know I can't eat something I WANT IT RIGHT NOW.  I have said I'm a bit obsessive before, haven't I?  In my mind I'm either being bad, or I'm being good.  There was no in between.  Lately I've come to realize that life is the in between.  I would be "good" for a week, then something would come up and I'd eat ice cream (bad food).  Then my thought process went something like this: "oh my god I ate ice cream, my day is screwed, I may as well eat everything I've been wanting to because tomorrow I will have to start fresh".  The consumption of one "bad food" would send me into a tail spin and I'd eat and eat and eat.  A day would turn into a week, and I would continue to over eat and yes binge, until I made myself so sick that the only choice would be to start dieting again because I was so sick of eating bad.  And this would continue. Then the negative self-talk would start - I'm so fat, I can't lose weight, I'm not strong enough, I don't deserve it - and how can you be happy with those thoughts going on in your head?  You can't.

What a fun way to live, eh?

After reading this, thinking about it, realizing that I have to change the way I think - I've started adapting this way of thinking.  No longer were foods forbidden.  I stopped eating 1200 calories a day (it's now 1500 + I eat back any calories I burn from exercising).  If I want bread or pasta or rice, I eat it (it's not a huge staple in our diet though).  If I'm craving chocolate, I eat it.  The majority of my diet is vegetables, lean meats and dairy and eggs.  But I also eat avocados, bacon, fruits.  I do eat pasta and bread.  I eat it all.  I try to eat more vegetables, less chocolate.  But they are both an important part of my diet.  And the best part is, I've been teaching myself not to feel the guilt associated with eating chocolate.  Or ice cream.  I eat it, enjoy it and move on.  So far I haven't binged (38 days!).... the one word used to desribe my diet these days?

Consistent.

I am consistently choosing healthy foods.  I am consistently including small treats here and there.  I am consistently being good to myself.  I am consistently choosing to workout in the mornings instead of hitting the snooze button.  I am consistently happy, consistently feeling not guilty and consistently enjoying this new way of living.

I don't think it will be always be easy, I am sure I will struggle, but I can honestly say this is the best I have felt in a long time.  I hope this really does become my way of life.  It's a much better way of living.