Here's to 2008!

Every year I've made resolutions (or goals) that typically have a number associated with it(whether it be how many pounds I want to lose, how long I want it to take me to run a half marathon, how many days a week I'm going to exercise, even how much money I want to save....). This year is going to be different. it's going to be different because now I am different. Also, whenever I don't meet a goal that's measurable (in time, numbers, dates etc...) then if I don't meet that goal, I feel like I've failed. And that's not a good feeling.

This past year has been super insane for me. In terms of finding out who I really am, what I'm made of, what's important to me and what I am going to let affect me. Some people are lucky enough to have discovered that years ago, and of that I am truly envious. It took me a little while longer. It took me having Carson. I'm different now. I'm not as shy. I don't get all stressed out in new situations or when my routine changes. I don't care what people think of me as much (ok ladies, it's not like I can change overnight). I do what I want to, what I feel is right for my family, and am proud of it.

This year isn't about particular goals that can be measured. And they are all promises and wishes that will make me a better person. And losing these last 10 lbs isn't going to make me a better person. Don't get me wrong, I am back "on the wagon" today, making healthy choices for my family and I, being good to myself, and I know that when I eat well, I'm all around happier so that will continue... as it has for the past 5 years (with temporary setbacks of course).

I promise MYSELF that I will:

Love Carson and Jeff with every ounce I have
Surround myself with positive people, positive thoughts and positive living
Stand tall and proud, at all times
Not let a number on the scale dictate how I feel
Treat myself the way I treat those I love
Continue to be the best mother, wife, daughter, friend, aunt, cousin and in-law that I can
Try to reach out to those people I think may need me (as a friend, a confidante, anything they need me to be) without compromising my husband and son
Give more of myself (I already have plans for my "volunteer day")
Move more. Go for more walks, go for more bike rides, get out and play in the snow with Carson. Jump in puddles... just get MOVING.
Make healthier decisions overall
Don't beat myself up if I have one day where I may indulge

And perhaps one of the most important - be happy with what I have TODAY and not always looking into the future. I often think - when I lose ten pounds I will do this. When we have our next house I will do this. When Carson is 2, we will do this. Don't worry about what's GOING to happen, just live in today and enjoy it!

In short, I will contine to take those steps to become the person I've always wanted to be. I'm slowly but surely getting there, I am way happier today then I was a year ago. I'm more confident, I smile more, I talk more, I laugh more, I listen more, I hug and kiss more, and I remember to be a kid more often too. Jeff and I get right on the floor, act silly, make faces, get messy and just morph into Carson's age... I love it.

And New Year's Eve was spent with the people I love (except my sister!), my best friends, good food, good wine, lots of laughs (LOTS), and knowing my sweet little boy was in bed at Grandma's house! We had a fantastic time and spent New Year's morning with my mom, Ricky, Carson, Jeff and I. Now we are at home, with a whole house to clean, a tree to take down, decorations to put away for next year and to start planning the New Year. I'm so excited for 2008... bring it on!