Thursday, October 30, 2008

I know I have no right

To feel this way.

I'm already a mom. I have a precious, sweet, adorable little boy who I couldn't love any more than I already do.

But, I'm not pregnant now. I keep thinking "I should be almost 6 months pregnant now". But I'm not. I assumed I would get pregnant quickly. But I didn't. I can feel myself getting angry and frusterated.

I know people who have been trying for much longer than us. I know people who have been trying for over a year. I knew it was hell for them, but it's one of those things that until you are in the situation, you don't know how shitty it is to be here.

I count my blessings every day for Carson and I'm lucky that I have him to turn to when I get sad about the situation.

My friends have been wonderful through this and they have been saying just the things I've needed to hear

you have to believe that it's all about getting the baby you are supposed to have
three times a charm
your body and mind have to be in a restful state
I have a good feeling about November being the month

And I appreciate it all, and I am really listening to them and trying not to get too anxious or too stressed. I have to concentrate on myself right now and don't get obsessed (which I tend to do about things). My eating has been so-so, the scale is showing a 3 lb gain, so starting today I am yanking out my Beck Diet solution and the 6 week program will last the length of my next cycle so it will keep me busy/occupied.

Anyways, that's where I am these days. Trust me, as soon as I get into my normal positive mode I will be back to blogging, I've just been kind of quiet as I've had alot on my mind.

Be back soon!

4 people had this to say:

Girl from Pennsylvania said...


I have read for a while and I believe I commented long long ago, but perhaps not? The one thing that I can say to you, is that you do have a right. You have a right to want another baby, another blessing in your life. You have a right to feel sad that you are not pregnant. You have the right to be sad about the pregnancy you lost. I can't tell you I know how you feel, but I can tell you that I wish the best for you!

Malinda said...

we are so rocking November! Husbands won't know what hit 'em LOL


Anonymous said...

There's nothing wrong with wanting something, and wanting it to happen *now*.

Have faith in yourself - your time is SUPER close.:-) A wee more patience, and you'll be there. Promise.


Anne said...

You're in my thoughts Christy, it didn't happen for me this month and I'm really having a hard time, but it will happen for us (you and I), I know it will :)