Still trying to accept this body.....

It's so funny how a workout can make me feel good or lousy.  This morning it was lousy, becuase the workout included box jumps and I looooaaaaattttthhhhhheeeee box jumps. 

It was only a few months ago that I finally was able to do them after months and months of being chicken-shit.  But, still, before each and every jump I make I have to convince myself to do it, it does not come easy at all, my heart is in my throat each time. And of course today we had to do 12 of them - four times. They just crush my soul, and instead of feeling that "BAM I did them!" all I seem to be able to concentrate on is how much I hate them.

Then getting ready.... (Picture below) I see all my flaws and blame the jumping on my weight and how terrible I am etc...whereas after Wednesday's workout, where I was able to pull off some awesome weight in squats, I felt better about myself.

I really have to work on these feelings and conquer the things that scare me - just keep doing them over and over until that pukey feeling no longer exists.

One day at a time I guess.....