Oh I wish

I would have brought a clementine for dessert! I just had a bowl of the white chicken chili (or something like that) from ESBM. I had made it a few weeks ago and while it's not my favourite, it certainly is filling, tasty and freezes well.

But now I'm craving something sweet. It will probably take me a week or two to get the sugar cravings to go away, and now I'm fulfilling these cravings with fruit, as opposed to chocolate. A step in the right direction I'd say.

I was just telling one of my favourite virtual friends this morning that I don't like the person I become when I'm eating bad foods. It's not just the number I see on the scale or the slowly more defined muffin top that makes me a nasty biatch, I think it's the sugar and awful toxins in my body. I just turn into a grouch. I don't snap or yell and if you were to see me, you probably wouldn't think twice (I'm one of those annoyingly happy people) but inside I'm festering and it's eating me up inside. I have horrible thoughts, I feel icky... I could go on, but will spare you.

Anyways, I swear it's the way my body reacts with the food I eat. Day 2 of eating well and already my mind is clear, I'm smiling inside and out, I have rational thoughts I'm way more positive. Another reminder to steer clear of sugar!

So, on top of my "Florida" goal, there's another - more important goal in mind. Baby #2. Not that we try to plan everythign in our life but for something like this, a bit of planning goes into it :) I think we're going to start trying in early to late spring. If I could get down to a happy size 8 before then (yes, I know, only to pile on the pounds again) then I'd be happy. I only started this blog long after I had Carson, but I gained almost 70 lbs with my pregnancy. I lost about 35 in the first month and held onto the last half for about 7 months and am finally about 3 lbs away from pre-preg weight (i had reached my pre-preg weight in Dec. and then the holidays came).

Next time there's no way I'm allowing myself to do that to my body! I know we have to gain weight, but there is so much that I can do to control it. I stopped exercising, I ate whatever I felt like (I'm pregnant, I can have ice cream for breakfast) and didn't practice any healthy eating habits. I know how much I struggled in the past year to lose those extra pounds and I won't do it again. I don't even know if we are going to stop at 2 kids, so I don't want to be doing this to my body over the next 5-6 years!

Anyways, that was a longer rant then I expected it to be. I'm back, feeling good, and have no doubt in my mind I'll reach my goals by the time they need to be reached :)