Monday, August 10, 2009

Out of my comfort zone

I never really remember what I write about and what stuff I keep secret. Lately I've been thinking more about really using this as a journal so maybe put things out there that I've normally kept quiet about. I know some things I never liked posting about because I felt some people would comment purposely to make me feel worse about something I already felt bad about. Now I know if I put something out there, on a public blog, I can expect all kinds of comments and I have to take the good with the bad. Lately I've come to realize that not everyone is always going to agree with me and have the same thoughts or ideas, and that doesn't make me wrong, it doesn't make them wrong, it's just the way life goes.

Anyhow, I digress. The point of this post was to say that I don't make new friends easily. That's probably why my closest friends, the ones I spend my social time with, are the friends I've had since grade school. I have a few "new" friends from over the years at different jobs etc... but really my closest friends I've had for over 20 years. Plus my family, I spend quite a lot of time with them as well.

I'm meeting a bunch of new moms at the store today for a strollercize class. I've never had a problem joining a new gym and taking classes, because you are there for one reason and one reason only (well, when I go to the gym I'm only there for one reason, we all know there are people there for every reason BUT to exercise). But with this class, we'll be walking together for 45 minutes. I know most people there will probably already know people and there will probably be little groups of moms walking together. I'll feel stupid walking by myself and yet it's so hard for me to just join in a conversation. I really want to meet some moms in the neighbourhood for playdates, for coffee dates, for some new friends.

Whenever I stress about something like this, afterwards I always come home and tell Jeff it wasn't as bad as I thought and I am always happy that I went. Why can't I remember that now? I'm nervous and I know I'll think of every reason I can to back out.

I understand I am being completely ridiculous and if I want to meet new people this is the best way to do it. I wish I was as skinny as all the other new moms I see out in the neighbourhood. But I tend to blame things on me being overweight, when in all reality I am sure I would feel the same way if I was a size 8.

Will update on the nightmare of a strollercise class later!

4 people had this to say:

Girl from Pennsylvania said...

Perhaps this is why we all blog? The fact that you can just put everything out there and no one "really" knows who you are?

I am the same way about meeting new people in group settings. I am extremely social but hate settings where I feel like an outsider, it's like elementary school all over again! I have lived in my town for about 2.5 years and the only people I am friends with are people that I work with and girls I have met through my husband's friends. It is hard to put yourself out there.

There is a young women's group here in town that meets once a month, kind of a service organization but I really have wanted to join but never built up the courage to go to a meeting by myself with 20 some other women there that likely have already formed friendships.

BAH. Nerves suck.

Malinda said...

this is a struggle for me too.... but almost always end up with the "I'm glad I went" feeling aferwards.

As for girlfriends... I don't honestly have a lot of them... no one i see ever week. between full-time job and my business I find whenever I do have a little down time I prefer to spend it with my husband or with family. Of course there are the once a month shop talk sessions with another photographer & friend from college, 3 or 4 yoga classes a week and the handful of girls at work.

oh and as for worrying about what peoples comments might be and differences of opinions... sure you might get negative comments here and there but really... a blog is a blog and if they don't like what you have to say people will just move on to someone else who shares the same opinions as they do.

Sonya said...

Oh, Christy - who WOULDN'T want to know you? You are one of the most fantastic people I know.:-)

You can't lose going to class. You are going to get a good workout PLUS meet some other moms. Think about it: everyone else is going for the same reason, and you're bound to make a few connections.

I haven't met any moms that I've really connected with during this leave so far - but it's a bit different since I'm one of the only one's with two kids in all of these groups. Still, I take what I get out of the classes and feel good about it.

Can't wait to hear about how it went - you're going to do great.


Christy said...

Thank you ladies for your wonderful comments, it's so nice to know I am not alone!!!!