Scared

I'm channeling Sonya tonight. Well, right now I'm feeling the same way that she did yesterday before her first spinning class. And I hope to feel the way she does now after going to it and doing amazing!

I'm so nervous about going to Tony Greco tonight. Last time I went, I was way more fit and in shape then I am now. There's not alot of big people in his classes. And they are HARD. I remember the buckets and buckets of sweat that would pour off my body. It will be somewhat frusterating when my body won't be able to do what it used to be able to do. But we all have to start off somewhere right?

And this is a bit of a ramble. But sometimes I want people to know that I'm not just some fat person trying to get healthy. I used to be there. I used to run half marathons. I used to be fast. I used to be strong. I used to be able to make my body do wonderful and crazy things.

Now I'm just overweight and not in shape. But, at least I am doing something to get back there - right?

(and please know that my feelings that I've posted on here are about my weight and how I feel. I don't walk around like a sad sack all day. I'm smiling whenever I am within 10 feet of my children (and not a fake smile) because when I am around anyone else they take priority and I don't think about myself. It's a catch 22 because it's how I let myself go but it's also good because I don't allow myself to think about my own issues until I'm alone with nobody else to worry about at the minute)