Friday, April 5, 2013

Now that I've calmed down enough...

I can post the results of stepping on the scale 6 weeks after I gave it up.

6 weeks of working out 6-7 days/week
6 weeks of tracking everything I eat
6 weeks of 98% eating within my calories
6 weeks of feeling fantastic, getting stronger.

6 weeks = 5 lb weight gain.

I know I need to be more patient.
I know that what I am doing is right, is healthy.
I know that I'm making a lifestyle change.

I know all of this, and STILL I would have liked the scale to be down 10 lbs.

There are so many ways I have changed, mentally, in the last little while and I really do understand about gaining muscle,eating the food, fueling my body so it can do all that I ask it to, the scale brings me right back to my disordered way of thinking.

I see someone at the gym who's lost a lot of weight and it's by eating 1200 cals a day.  I don't want to do that to myself, but I do want to look better.  That superficial part of that journey is still there in my mind, and I don't always think it's a bad thing.  No one wants to STAY overweight, right?

For the briefest of seconds, when I saw the # on the scale I wanted to go back upstairs and just crawl under the covers.  Instead, I got my shorts and shirt on and went to spinning.

This morning, for the briefest of seconds I wanted to turn off my alarm and not go to bootcamp, but I shook my head, got up and went. 

I am taking charge and NOT letting this affect my determination, motivation or drive.

Full steam ahead folks.


6 people had this to say:

mustangsabby said...

You so did not let that number scare you backwards! I am so happy for that!

ON this journey, it is not just about weight loss, and we all know this. By keeping your steam on full, you've got that down pat. I look at it this way... It is about gain too. We gain so much more than we lose (weight). We gain trust in ourselves, skills, health, muscles, power over our bad habits... this list can go on and on.

I think you should be damned proud of your progress in your fitness. I know (we) all are.

Chantal said...

Full steam baby! FULL STEAM! I am so proud of you. YOU WILL SEE RESULTS. I know you will. And i need you to motivate me!

Christy said...

I know I've been saying this over and over - but I need to, for all that you ladies have done for me... thank you!

Mis(s)Mannered Mom said...

MustangSabby is a smart cookie. The difference, this time, is that you DIDN'T throw in the towel...you went spinning! That's a HUGE step forward and shows that the old you-the one that would be fighting this neverending restricting/guilt tripping circle, is GONE. The new you is strong, determined and has made this a LIFEstyle, not a three month weightloss quick drop.

I'm INCREDIBLY proud of you, and SO SO SO glad I have met you.

JavaChick said...

I am sorry that you didn't see the results you wanted BUT it sounds like you are taking it in stride. You are doing the right thing and you will get there. Keep up the good work!

Kataroo said...

I think your amazing, that you doing incredible things...not only physical feats but battling and winning the war of the mind.