BUG: context used: an insect
This morning I was swarmed by mosquitoes. A few people joked about the number of mosquitoes on my body - I respond by telling everyone else they are safe because the mosquitoes are too obsessed with my blood to bother anyone else (very eccentric, I know, I am sure everyone else got bitten too!). Any time I looked down at my arms, hands, legs or ankles, I could count at least three mosquitoes.
I showed Jeff 9 (yes N-I-N-E) bites on my butt after I got out of the shower.
I almost took a picture but didn't want to gross anyone out. By the bites or my bare ass.
BUG: context used: to be annoyed (no, that's not actually in the dictionary, I was surprised that it wasn't! I mean, not the way in which I described it, but the verb "to annoy somebody")
If I was in a line-up with ten other women, around my age, but of varying shapes and sizes, it's human nature to assume that the slimmest one is most likely the most athletic? Right? I know I've seen really strong/fast big women and really slow/weak skinny women - but I think by default we would assume that when the button is pressed GO - we think the woman with the most slender body type will win the race.
I think this is where my annoyance comes in. I get somewhat annoyed when people act surprised that I can run fast. Or lift heavy. I get annoyed that I don't LOOK as strong as I am. I get annoyed that I don't look like I work out (hard I may add) 6-7 days a week. That I've been been a consistent gym go-er for almost 2 years. That I crossfit, bootcamp, spin, run, walk on a very regular basis. I have two colleagues who are very fit/slim who talk about yesterday's spin session and how hard it was. I want to say - crossfit was insane this morning! But I feel like they would think I am lying. Not them in particular, but you know, someone wouldn't believe that I did crossfit. Or if I did, I had just joined to try and lose weight.
I don't know, I have no idea why I'm talking about this. I have no idea why this bugs me, or why I should care what other people think. I just feel like sometimes I want to wear a shirt that says "I'm not new to this" to wear to the gym. I know strong people come in all different shapes and sizes - maybe it all boils down to being sick of the shape I'm in. I want to look on the outside like I feel on the inside.
But that's focussing on the wrong thing right? I can't change how other people see me, nor should I care how they see me (physically that is) - knowing I am strong, knowing what I can do with my body should be good enough. Right?
How do I stop caring what other people think. And wait a minute? How do I even know that's what they are thinking? Maybe they are just trying to say "atta girl christy, I knew you could do it" and not "good job little fat girl trying to be strong"
All I know is I am feeling annoyed.
Argh. I don't even know if I am going to post this or not.
I should be happy, you should have all seen how close I was to Amy's crotch this morning!